Proof positive

And this is why:

Phlygm globber

If there's one thing that I know for sure it's that uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I miss living with Brad Shanks. Also that I could probably live on watermelon and popcorn. Seperately. Not together. Although...

Look at the poo poo!

All, and I mean ALL, babies are shrieking lumps of gelatinous goo. They do not "have their father's eyes", nor do they "have their mother's nose". Your baby is certainly not a "beautiful" baby, nor is it "adorable", "precious", or "cute". They are splotchy. They emit the types of sounds normally associated with exotic forms of torture, and if everything goes as planned, after a meal consisting of pureed fruit scraps, they puke all over themselves. I do the same thing, and nobody congratulates me for it. Yet you do, because you like your baby. You are the only one who likes your baby. You are the only who likes your shrieking lump of gelatinous goo.