pohping:Derek bought Air Fryer for me, last year birthday...
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pohping:
Derek bought Air Fryer for me, last year birthday present. Muaks!
7 years ago
Monday, August 11, 2008
Look at the poo poo!
All, and I mean ALL, babies are shrieking lumps of gelatinous goo. They do not "have their father's eyes", nor do they "have their mother's nose". Your baby is certainly not a "beautiful" baby, nor is it "adorable", "precious", or "cute". They are splotchy. They emit the types of sounds normally associated with exotic forms of torture, and if everything goes as planned, after a meal consisting of pureed fruit scraps, they puke all over themselves. I do the same thing, and nobody congratulates me for it. Yet you do, because you like your baby. You are the only one who likes your baby. You are the only who likes your shrieking lump of gelatinous goo.
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3 comments:
the hormones that prevent mothers from killing and eating their young are strange(and dangerous). people are the only animals that will die for their babies, you know? mama rabbits will run away, birds will wheedle around screeching in the sky, etc etc, but people? well, only people are dumb enough to throw themselves in front of a bus or into a lions cage for a baby. BAH! dime in a dozen, babies!
If I had known that you were going to use this blog to be all grumpy and crotchety, I wouldn't have set it up for you.
"Oh, sharing pictures of people! Booo!"
"Oh, babies! Boo."
"Oh, stupid people liking things like pictures and babies. Booooo!"
You forget that I've seen you coo at our cats like a crazy person. You are a softy! Don't front!
Babies look like aliens from a planet that probably closely resembles a raisin. Most of the time when I tell someone their baby is cute, I am being nice instead of being honest. People say that when you have your own baby someday, you will like it because it is yours. This fact, this chance of actually liking this future baby, is the reason I don't want to have one. Then I'd be forced to recant all my baby-hating talk, and no one likes to admit when they're wrong.
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